pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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