and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
