Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
