this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize