Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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