tell your sister to shave her snatch
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
