Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
