Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize