She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
