i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
