I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have peed in a lot of sinks
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
