the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sorry about my life...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
