can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
