Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
