it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
