I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
