I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
