yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
