There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
