haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
