so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Randomize
