He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
