It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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