I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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