is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Im part way to drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
