What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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