i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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