I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
