I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
