i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
