So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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