Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
True college students do jello shots in the library
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