his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
