I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
