lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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