Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
