So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
