zippers are such a cool invention
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
