I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
