Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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