do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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