your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
