I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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