Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize