dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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