whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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