I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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