My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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