I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
