We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
