singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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