just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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