dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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