Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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