Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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