I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
