My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just google imaged poop.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
