one two three fourrrrnication!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
