Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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