If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dear god my vagina.
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